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Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Sailing through the storm...

Lord, I am worn from the weather, the raging waves
that beat against the life i awaken to each day.
I know You are good, and You will never forsake,
but it is hard to see You working, in the waves great wake.
So to the Lord I will lift my voice, calling out in my time of need.
I cannot navigate this ship alone, so to You, o Lord, I give the lead.
Lord, hear my prayer, I cry out in distress,
The waves of the storm seem never to rest.
Yet I know You are the Master of the waves,
And into Your hands I commit my life this day.

"Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble, and he brought them out of their distesss. He stilled the storm to a wisper, the waves of the sea were hushed."
Psalm 107:28-29

His grace is greater...

I have written this post many times and every time I read it back I re-upset myself. I have learned that my own strength cannot carry me through, God has to give me the stamina I need. I know God's plan is far greater than my own.
A week and a half ago it was time for us to take a pregnancy test. So I decided when I got off I would run by the store and pick up a test and take it the next morning. I was at work for about 2 hours and I started feeling crampy. But I pushed it off and tried not to think about it. About lunch time I went to the restroom and reality set in. I stayed in the bathroom and cried and prayed and asked why.Matthew brought me lunch and I sat and cried. People would ask me questions and I cried. Needless to say it was a miserable day. Each month for the past year it has been disappointing to get a negative, but this time was different. We had put so much more time and energy and money in, it was like a reality check. I know He was telling us that it didn't matter what all we had put into it, the miracle will come from Him. He is able to the impossible, we have to believe it!
So we are doing another IUI on Thursday. I have been trying extra hard to not worry about tomorrow and just live in His day every moment and be thankful for that. We are not promised tomorrow and I don't want to spend time worrying about things that I have no control over. He already knows what my future is and I have a peace in knowing He is in control!
"And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work." 2Corinthians 9:8
"Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be whole and complete, lacking nothing." James 1:2-4